It's been awhile, I know.
Busier and busier.
I'm longing for a break.
My body aches.
I'm always up so early, home so late.
Driving back and forth when there's no sun.
So what if I complain, others do it too.
I signed up this course myself,
and I didn't regret a bit.
It's just that I've overworked myself this semester,
compared to the previous two.
Breaking down in the middle of the night,
crying your eyeballs out because
you're so done with being just okay.
Not better, but just okay.
Even if people hear you out, there's nothing they can do
unless you help yourself.
I know I don't.
I never did.
I always look down at myself,
underestimating myself.
I'm never the best.
I just wanna be happy again,
laughing for no reason because everything was great.
This is when I wish I could turn back time, undo the things I've done.
Sometimes it's better to just keep quiet and hold it in.
But I couldn't just do that all the damn time.
I'm sick and tired of it.
"There's worse cases out there."
"You're not lucky, you're blessed."
"You sunk yourself further down with negative thoughts."
It was never easy.
But thank you for hearing me out, you know who you are.
